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Application to play orchestral trombone

Chicago Symphony Orchestra
Selection Committee
220 S. Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Gentlemen:

I wish to apply immediately for the job of Second Trombone and I already have the two trombones. Although I have not played much in an orchestra, I have played along with lots of classic (no vocal) records. I found that if I slowed them down a little that the songs automatically went into the flat keeys which are much easier, but I think I could do the sharp keeys in a short time.
I was a student for several years of Mr. Remington (Buck, not Emory) and then went with the circus band where my tone really got great. You don't have to worry about me being able to blast through on the Vogner stuff, that's for sure.
After I watched "10", I got out my horn and worked up a really great solo on "Bolero", (do you know that there is a dance by this name too?) but I still have trouble knowing when to come in with the record. Does your arrangement sound the same all the way through, too? Anyway, I know that if I get the job that the people in Chicago will like my version which is do-wop. Would I have to sit real close to the violins? They never seem to play very loud and my tone sort of cuts off if I have to play too soft so it would be best if I could sit in front of the drums, like in the circus band. Also, I'd kind of like to sit on the outside so that people could see me.
I am practicing every day for the audition and am working on a new thing called legato, but it's still a little smeary. I think you'll like it though. But, if your music is anything like this Rubank stuff, it will be a challenge to my teck... techininuque... tequch... ability. There is a position on trombones called 5th, but hardly any notes are there. Does your music have many of these notes and if so, what are they? I'd like to know all of this before I pay bus fare down to Chicago and how much does the job pay?
I'm really looking forward to coming down, but why would I have to play behind a screen in the winter?

Sincerely,
Slide Rafferty

P.S. I have lots of music stands and probably have one like you guys use, so that would be a cost saving.