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Opera Roles

Tenors
Tenors are never ugly. Tenors are heros. Tenors make lots of money. Tenors often die in the last act. Tenors get the best bits to sing. If a tenor can sing a good high note he will get applause. Sopranos go for Tenors.
Sopranos
Sopranos are always beautiful. Sopranos are young virgins. Wagnerian Sopranos wear funny hats. Sopranos are to blame for frightening newcomers from opera. Sopranos have a propensity for going barmy. Sopranos love tenors.
Mezzos
Mezzos are bad people. Mezzos are gypsies, witches and murderers. Mezzos are seldom blonde. All nurses and housekeepers are mezzos. Rossini mezzos are different. Mezzos seduce tenors.
Baritones
Baritones are schemers. Baritones are nasty, horrible people. Baritones have hunchbacks. Baritone soldiers never outrank tenor soldiers.
Basses
Basses are kings, wisemen or priests. Basses can be funny.