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Infractions

Penalties indicated can be applied in whatever units you desire, financial or otherwise!

MUSICAL OFFENCES
Playing highest note possible during warm-up10Playing pedal notes during warm-up20
Playing Carnival of Venice from memory as a warm-up50Playing Solo Cornet part of Bugler's Holiday as a warm-up100
Taking tuning note up an octave25Taking tuning note down 2 octaves50
Playing tuning note in correct octave75Using vibrato on unison passages50
Failure to use 4th valve if equipped50Being told by conductor to play softer10
Being told by conductor to play louder100Playing wrong rhythm50
Playing wrong rhythm and throwing entire band off100Missing jump to the Coda5
Playing percussion parts where written50Improvising on as-written parts10
Not improvising on as-written parts20  
SECTION PLAYER OFFENCES
Missing entrance when lead player drops out on unison passage15Pointing out to lead player that the guy on the record took it faster 20
Hanging past lead player on last chord50Attempting to "bottom out" lead player on last chord10
Successfully "bottoming out" lead player on last chord20Attempting to out-screech lead player on last chord30
Successfully out-screeching lead player at any time40Asking the lead player what mouthpiece he uses75
Playing another section's note on last chord50  
EQUIPMENT VIOLATIONS
Polishing instrument on stage15Dropping mute10
Injuring others by dropping mute50Dropping mouthpiece (add cost of repair)10
Dropping instrument (add cost of repair)25Dropping DEADwarning
Showing up with wrong music25Forgetting pencil20
Forgetting mute25Forgetting music30
Forgetting valve oil35Forgetting tie or socks40
Forgetting mouth piece45Forgetting instrument50
Getting coke bottle or similar shaped object stuck down bell75Showing up with wrong instrument25
Showing up with different instruments50Arriving with a Sousaphone100
Arriving with a Fibreglass Sousaphone 500  
CRIMINAL BAD TASTE
Having a nicer dent bag than rest of section10Talking about what a great deal you got on a instrument10
Belching out loud between tunes5Belching during rests in music10
Belching before difficult passage25Belching after difficult passage40
Belching through your instrument50Beginning a sentence with "When I played for Insert name here band" 25
Beginning a sentence with "When I played for Insert name here artist" 50Casually mentioning to director what other instruments you play75
Admitting to ever having been a trumpet player100  
BASIC STUPIDITY
Always asking "Where are we?"25Drunkenness on an engagement25
Being stoned on an engagement50Mistaking your valve oil for inhaler10 + hospital bill
Sobriety on an engagement75Pretending to be friends with trumpet players10
Actually being friends with trumpet players20Dating a trumpet player 75
Dating a woodwind player100Dating the Conductor250
Dating a strings player500Scaring animals with your tone25