Signs You've Been In Band Too Long
- When you hear music and you start marking time.
- When you walk behind someone and you're in step with them.
- When you try to guess the tempo of your favorite song.
- When all your friends are in the band.
- When you don't mind changing clothes on the bus.
- When you point out key changes and dynamics while listening to the radio.
- When every guy/girl you're interested in is in the band.
- When you like wearing your uniform.
- When people ask you about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my flute / trumpet / drum / etc.?"
- When you consider your drill book a fashion accessory.
- When you've had a "trombone-ectomy"
- When you practice your instrument more than you talk to your dog.
- When being mauled by a drum is a normal part of life.
- When people worry when they see you without your instrument.
- When "armed guard," means a girl with a pole instead of a guy with a gun.
- When band camp is FUN
- When you respond to "band fag"
- When someone says the word "box" and you automatically put your head up.
- When you remember flats and sharps more easily than your name.
- When you dress the lunch line, and urge others to do the same.
- When you're alone and you suffocate because there's no one telling you to breathe.
- When slides feel normal.
- When your instrument has a name.
- When you remember your instrument's birthday and forget your mom's.
- When making a line is you biggest accomplishment of the day.
- When back marching no longer reminds you of ballet.
- When you give your instrument a birthday party.
- When you can make brown shoes look white.
- When your uniform fits.
- When black feathers become a fashion "do".
- When you see your section more than you see your family.
- When everyone wants to kill the other football team...and you want to kill the other band.
- When you have dreams about selling Woody's Wings.
- When you think evening practices should last a half-hour longer.
- When you accidentally call your band director "Dad".
- When you CAN sight-read.
- When you can put on your uniform in less than 10 minutes.
- When reeds taste good.
- When Woody's Wings are part of your daily diet.
- When you think your plume is alive.
- When marking time is your favorite form of exercise.
- When you have a neck strap/harness tan line.
- When you subconsciously start practicing with a pencil.
- When numbers past 8 aren't important.
- When you're more opinionated about the Madison Scouts/Phantom Regiment rivalry than the O.J. trial.
- When you roll-step through the cafeteria so you don't spill your lunch.
- When you'd rather practice than read this list.
- When letters past G aren't important.
- When you get the jokes on this list.
- When this list reaches 50.