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Opera Notes

Operatic Headlines

Roll-Your-Own Fags Girl In Stadium Stabbing (Carmen)
Surprise Winner Of The Eurovision Song Contest (Die Meistersinger)
Oriental Child Bride In Tug-Of-Love Suicide (Madame Butterfly)
Trainee Shortage Threatens East Coast Fishing Industry (Peter Grimes)
Former Callgirl Dies In Love Nest (La Traviata)
Police Slayer In Prison Roof Death Plunge (Tosca)
Cadet Officer In Country House Bedroom Sex Change Frolic (Marriage of Figaro)
Good Neighbour Policy Fails To Save Paris TB Victim (La Boheme)
Three Die In Mixed Marriage Handkerchief Muddle (Otello)
Incest Offspring To Marry Aunt (Siegfried)

Operas That Never Made It

Rossini: The Plumber of Seville.
Britten: A Midsummer Nightmare.
Mozart: The Magic Tuba.
Puccini: La Bamba.
Verdi: Rigatoni.