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New Advancement in Brass Instrument Technology - Electronic Fingering Attachment

    I recently came across this advertisement in Popular Mechanics and instantly recognized it as the brass player's dream come true. Noticing that it was an English invention, it seemed to be a perfect match for the band. The inventor agreed and the cornet section was soon outfitted with the devices. You cannot believe the difference they made!!! Thunder and Blazes, Festive Overture, and other such pieces are now a piece of cake. We have even commissioned a 7 part arrangement of Flight of the Bumble Bee, which the cornet section can perform flawlessly in under 30 seconds!!!

    It quickly became obvious that this is exactly what every school and community band has been waiting for. The improvement has been so great that the band management acquired exclusive rights to develop and market the invention in the US. We are currently working on an improved mechanism that is all electronic and is installed by simply replacing the valve caps. The mechanics come in several sizes to fit the whole band from Tuba to Eb soprano cornet. With the prototypes we are using now, we can simply put the whole score on a scanner and download the music to smart cards similar to those used in digital cameras. A whole concert program will easily fit on a single smart card.

    This device makes long hours of boring rehearsal a thing of the past. In a manner of minutes, any new piece can be loaded into the devices and performed, sounding exactly like the US Marine Band or the Black Dyke Band the first time!!! Commercial versions will soon be available. To reserve a set of instruments for your band, send an email and reference "Electronic Fingering Attachment". By return email we will give you instructions for making a deposit into our bank account in the Bahamas to guarantee your place in line.